It has taken me almost eight years of motherhood to stop saying “we should get together soon”.
We’ve all done it, and I’m sure it still slips of my mouth from time to time out of polite habit, but I’d like to encourage you to stop. The next time you see a friend or acquaintance, wether it be in the back to school aisle or across the park playground, refrain from saying it.
Instead, if you find yourself actually wanting to spend time with someone, act on it. This doesn’t have to be a big, planned out gathering. You don’t need to scrub your floors or pick a party theme to build a relationship or community. You can, quite literally, just invite someone into your everyday life. Your everyday life might look different than mine, but here are some things I’ve said or texted in the past month or so:
“I’m taking the kids to mcds tomorrow after gym, wanna join? We can drink diet coke and steal their fries while they play!”
“I made a lemonade pie – are you home so I can drop off a slice?”
“You need a break, I’m going to watch the kids while you go out next Tuesday morning.”
“Can we do Costco together tomorrow after the dino exhibit?”
“The duckies are being so friendly today! Want to come feed them with me after bedtime?”
“I miss your face even though I’m literally speaking to you right now. Hang out tomorrow? I don’t care what we do – your pick.”
“I’m going to read *insert various book title here* next, want to read it at the same time to discuss?”
“It’s freakin’ hot today, want to come swim after lunch?”
Connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It can simply be an everyday, ordinary “come on over”.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: It can hard and scary reaching out at first, but I promise it gets easier with time and practice. Reach out, it’s worth it. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. It’s cultural references will probably get more and more dated the longer I stay off social media. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
