I love to host, but know many find it daunting. Done right, I truly believe it can life-giving for anyone. Whether you’re hosting weekend guests or a friend that dropped by for an impromptu coffee and chat, the guidelines are the same.
#1 – Don’t apologize for perceived flaws. My cousin and his wife from Colorado visited us for the weekend – it was a wonderful time. However, the week leading up to their visit was hectic and I didn’t have time to prepare the house like I usually do for overnight guests. The house was ok-ish thanks to our nightly tidies and minimalism, but the deep cleaning I prefer didn’t happen. Instead of pointing out everything I didn’t get done, I greeted them warmly and trusted that their visit was about seeing us, not inspecting my baseboards. Common sayings like “sorry for the mess, I didn’t get to mop!” or “we’re usually much cleaner than this!” are tempting, but it puts guests in the uncomfortable position of either reassuring their host or agreeing that you should’ve cleaned.
#2 – Offer comfy seating and a beverage. Everyone likes to feel a bit pampered from time to time. Try to make the visit as comfortable and restorative as you can. If it’s chilly, offer a cozy blanket. If it’s hot, turn on the ceiling fan when they walk in; little gestures are noticed and appreciated.
#3 – Serve good food. We have a glass treat jar on the counter that I keep stocked with rotating favorites – chocolate chip cookies, apple muffins, jam thumbprint cookies, rice krispy treats; whatever sounds good at the moment. I’m quick to put a few on a plate when guests stop by. If we’re doing a meal or it’s a planned extended visit, I ask for allergies, food aversions, and meal preferences in advance.
#4 – Leave room for help. If a guest offers to bring something, or asks how they can help, respond with an enthusiastic yes and suggestions. Everyone likes to feel helpful and included – don’t have your guests feeling helpless while you buzz around accomplishing everything.
#5 – Be engaging; this is arguably the most important guideline. Guests probably won’t remember if your throw pillows matched, the fans were dusted, or your dish-ware had chips, but they will remember how you made them feel. Be excited to see them, welcoming and positive in your attitude, and interested in what they have to say; eye contact and smiles go a long way towards friendship. You don’t have to drop everything during a visit – some of my best visits with friends have been diet cokes shared over slime-mixing, laughs while bending garden arches, chats over pizza while kids raced bikes in the driveway, and sourdough-shaping during a discussion of up-coming nuptials. A shared experience or activity can be bonding and fun, just include your guests in whatever you have planned.
Hosting isn’t about having everything completely perfect, it’s about connecting with your guests. Happy hosting!
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I’m sure I have screwed up as a host before. No-one is perfect, and I’ve had awkward gatherings, times people have stopped by when I don’t want company, and just plain flat-out bad parties before. We’re all just trying our best. Try your best & forget the rest. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. Sometimes it’ll be ramblings about why parenthood makes friendships hard, other times it might be tips on having a good holiday. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
About Mackayla
Mackayla Turley is a married stay-at-home mom of three young kids in Pahrump, Nevada. She enjoys drinking coffee, reading, baking, and exercise as well as running a local moms group, Pahrump Mother’s Corner. Her friends describe her as a cheerleader, a giver, a minimalist, and an extrovert. She can be reached at pahrumpmotherscorner@runbox.com.
