The concept of absence has been rolling around in the back of my mind lately. My thoughts on it are still a bit abstract, and heavens knows my mind has 90’s pop hits blaring and useless to-do lists getting in the way. Essentially, my theory is in a world full of more, more, more, absence is the secret ingredient to a happier, more fulfilling life.
I’m not talking about just things, either. I mean, yes, clearing out the junk drawer and all your unneeded stuff is a hot topic for me. And obviously, if you can curb your consumption, you can clear up working money and hours for more fulfilling experiences instead of spending them on the newest “must-have” shoved in your face in every post. I digress; if you haven’t decluttered your home yet, I highly encourage you to. But right now, I’m thinking more about time and how it is spent.
Consider your ideal weekend. Though I can’t guess where it might be or what you envision doing, I feel comfortable betting it doesn’t include laundry. Or scrubbing, taking out the trash, stressing, meeting work deadlines, pulling overtime shifts, and so on and so forth. The absence of those things makes room for what truly makes you happy.
Think of your favorite gathering. I can’t guess where it was, who it was with, or what the occasion was, but I feel pretty confident that it didn’t include people that bring you down. I’m sure it didn’t involve gossipers, double-dealers, or catty behavior. The absence of those people gave you the peace and security to enjoy yourself with the ones you love and care about.
Reflect on your favorite time with your kids. Once again, I can’t guess what it is at all, but I’m sure it wasn’t full of harsh words, hyper-criticism, or expectations of perfection. You probably weren’t on-edge, snappy, and impatient. No matter where or what that memory is, there was likely some light heartiness, fun, and love involved. The absence of a negative attitude gave room for a positive experience.
Remove what drains you, and happiness is what is left behind.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I’m not saying you become a nudist and refuse to work with the sarcastic coworker you can’t stand. We all gotta do things we don’t like to, laundry and social niceties included. I’m just saying we should minimize them as much as feasible. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. It might be a breakdown of everything I ate to reduce hangriness, or a list of why peanut butter straight out of the jar is the best snack to exist. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
