One of my kiddos is allergic to artificial dyes. I know, I know, many of you are rolling your eyes at the crunchiness of it. A few of you may be nodding in agreement, facing similar struggles. He’s one of the oddly “lucky” ones that have a physical reaction to it, he gets hives and a rash anytime red40 passes his lips – a traceable, measurable reaction to track instead of trying to define levels of hyperactivity.
This isn’t an article on wacky, misguided food additives or why whole foods are best, though both of those topics are worth writing about. Don’t get me started on the harm advertising to children does. Instead, I’m sharing this information for the background of one of our families biggest battles: Halloween.
One on hand, I can see why my kids are so attached to their sugar hoard. My little candy dragons have worked hard gathering their treasure. Walking their little legs down seemingly endless roads, mustering up the courage to walk past increasingly scary decorations and talk to strangers, carrying a bucket that gets heavier and heavier with spoils as the night goes on.
For past Halloweens, I should’ve dressed up as a dictator, or perhaps a heartless queen. I tried to impose strict rules on anything and everything: no dyes, three pieces of candy a night, say exactly “trick-or-treat” and “thank you, Happy Halloween!”, no slowing down, no pausing on the walking, stay together, and go in a logical path from house to house.
This time was different. I had two rules: you can eat any chocolate you want while trick-or-treating, and we stay together. The difference was night and day. It turns out the kids will say the correct things ninety percent of the time without my cajoling, and the ten percent they forgot I said “thank you!” for them. There weren’t fights about wanting to eat forbidden dye candies because no-one has time to argue with a Snickers in hand and a Reese’s waiting to be eaten next. It turns out the kids will pick a reasonable path on their own to maximize their haul. We chatted with friends in group while we walked, and the grown-ups had as much fun as the kids did. After the candy-gathering marathon ended, I told the kiddos I’d trade out their colorful candies and lollipops with dye-free versions I had bought earlier in the week. Everyone handed over their buckets for sorting and went off to brush their teeth without complaint.
It was our best Halloween yet, and I’ll be picking my battles much more carefully from now on.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I’m still a control-freak from time to time, it’s in my nature. However, two of my good friends have helped me slowly loosen the reins over the past year, and I owe a lot of my family’s newfound balance to them. You know who you are, thank you thank you thank you for being a huge part of my life. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. It may be about sales and advertising increases over the years, or how to tone back Christmas gifts to focus in family. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
