My two-year old is having a moment with klutziness. Everywhere someone is stepping, wherever there is a laundry hamper or large box being moved, and each & every blind spot a family member has, there she is. As frustrating as it is, it’s become a big teaching moment – not for her, but for me. Each time she is accidentally bumped into, knocked over, or smushed, she exclaims, “I is otays! is accident, you no mean it!” Sometimes she throws in, “you love me! you a good mama/brudder/sister/dada!” for good measure.
It’s really made me think, what if we all automatically operated that way? How much more pleasant would life be if we trained our minds to assume the best?
Someone cuts you off on the road? No biggie, they must not have seen you. Maybe there’s a blind spot in that particular model of car, or they were distracted answering their kid’s millionth question of the day, or were in a rush to meet a loved one at the hospital. No harm, no foul, no need to ruin a good day on it.
Haven’t heard from a friend in awhile? Maybe it’s been their busy season at work, their whole family are down with the flu, or they’ve just gotten caught up in day-to-day life. Maybe they meant to text, but then had to comfort a crying kiddo, which turned into cleaning up the mess the kiddo was crying about, which turned into getting a new one of whatever was spilled. Before they knew it, the thought of texting had long passed and the process repeated ad infinitum. Take the initiative and reach out. Phones work both ways, why waste stress on whether they’re avoiding you when they probably aren’t. Pick up the phone yourself instead of having a false assumption of unreciprocated care – no need to ruin a good friendship on it.
A family member says something that can be taken either offensively or not? Assume the better option. They love you, you love them, why would you make each other intentionally upset? Don’t pick a fight, point out lightly that you’re assuming the nicer intention. No need to ruin a good relationship on it.
Hear through the grapevine of small talk that something was said about you? Assume it’s been misinterpreted somewhere along the line. After all, the telephone game was popular and hilarious in elementary school for a reason – don’t take the adult version of gossip anymore seriously than one of those recess games. No need to ruin years of trust on it.
Your assumptions have the power to influence your mood, your day, and ultimately your life – might as well assume the best.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I’ve gone through ups and downs with my mindset. In the past, I’ve taken offense when I didn’t need to – particularly with my in-laws. I’ve wasted years harboring unnecessary hurt instead of focusing on what was actually good. It’s not all positive, all the time over here, but I’m working on it. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. Sometimes it’ll have realistic tips to host in your home or skip screen time on hot days, other times it might be a comparison of the best chocolate chip cookie recipes. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
About Mackayla
Mackayla Turley is a married stay-at-home mom of three young kids in Pahrump, Nevada. She enjoys drinking coffee, reading, baking, and exercise as well as running a local moms group, Pahrump Mother’s Corner. Her friends describe her as a cheerleader, a giver, a minimalist, and an extrovert. She can be reached at pahrumpmotherscorner@runbox.com.
