A few decades ago, you would only know the inside of a few homes and lives. Your own home, some family members’ homes, and maybe a few friends’ and neighbors’ homes. Sure, you’d be able to buy some home decor magazines and browse decor books at the library, but in doing so, you’d know those photos were curated and staged.
Today, you can find thousands of pictures and videos of home interiors with a quick tap-tap-tap on a keyboard. That’s great for inspiration, but not so great for comparison. It’s easy to get caught up in the swirls of Pinterest photos or scrolls of Insta feeds and blur the line from ideas into envy.
The cure for envy is pretty simple to define, but hard to create: contentment. To foster contentment within my own life, I try to follow three simple practices daily.
First, step away from any consumption that makes you feel like what you have isn’t enough. The account that only shares shopping hauls? Unfollow. The influencer that seems to always have a new “must-have”? Adieu! Those promotional emails from Pottery Barn/West Elm/Restoration hardware? Unsubscribe. The acquaintance from high school that only posts how perfect their life is? Mute. Actually, unfriend that last one, anyone you wouldn’t have a cup of coffee & a friendly chat with doesn’t need access to your life. Not all consumption is online. If a specific set of people makes you feel like you’re less-than, feel free to peace out of there, too.
Second, define your values. Really sit with this one and think about what matters to you. For me, it’s my family, my friends, and fostering community. I value hard-work, efficiency, and helping others. I love good food, calming spaces, and quality over quantity when it comes to my possessions. When listed out like that, none of those are obtained by coveting what others have. Not a single one. I bet none of your values can be gained by always wanting more, either.
Third, voice your gratitudes and joy. This one feels silly at first, but it makes a big difference over time. Anytime you notice something you’re thankful for, or enjoying, voice it. Out-loud. Even if just to yourself. “That meal was really good.” “I love snuggling you in the mornings.” “Mmmm, hot showers are my favorite.” “I’m getting better at double-unders! That was 17 in a row! Wooooo!” You get it. Feeling extra motivated? My grandma used to say, “complaints and criticism aren’t conversation”. Take that to heart, and leave them out of your mouth, eventually they’ll start to fade from your mind as well.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I still struggle with wanting more from time to time, marketing and advertising is a giant industry for a reason! This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. Sometimes it’ll be a rant on the decline of the word “friend”, other times it might be a list of non-consumer social activities. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
