“They’re so difficult.”
You hear it sighed at playdates, grumbled at family outings, and lamented after bedtime. Instead of just accepting that, let’s try looking at it from a kid’s perspective – specifically my four year old’s perspective.
I wake up excited about the day, as usual. Alongside that excitement is a grumbling tummy – the recent growth spurt is using as many nutrients and calories as I can shove down. Hustling to Mama’s room, I exclaim “Maaaamaaaa, its morning! Tet up, tet up! Moooorning!” Mama grumbles and rolls over. “Tet UP! Oatmeal pweeeease!!” Mama’s moving too slowly – who needs time to stretch and rub their eyes like that? I try to be patient, really, but it feels like forever, and I wonder if Mama has forgotten my request for oatmeal (spoiler: she hasn’t). My whining intensifies, as does Mama’s frustration.
Finally, Mama makes my oatmeal, and I want to tell her about my dreams and plans for the day. There are unicorns, swimming, and friends to discuss. She keeps shushing me, and I can tell she’s getting frustrated. She mumbles something about brother and sister still sleeping, but that doesn’t negate my excitement, surely?
Brother & sister get up, my favorite time of day! We want to play games, and are having fun when Mama announces it’s time to get ready to go to gym. We need to get dressed and brush our hair. I don’t like bushing my hair. I was just about to escape as the bad guy in our game! I was going to win! I whine and drag my feet, not knowing how to say I’m disappointed the game was interrupted.
We get to the gym – don’t get me started on the fiasco that is getting in the car. Mama seems to think being on time is more important than examining the new cacti flowers, which is totally wrong. I like watching Mama work out, but I also miss her. I call her over to ask for snuggles and I hear the coach say something about ignoring me. The thought of that makes me cry, and I can see the grown-ups getting unhappy. Mama and her friend come over and are nice to me, so I calm down and play with my friends. After the workout, we closeout – the best part of gym even if the grown-ups choose silly words to yell.
I’m going to stop there. I could probably write out the whole day from her view, but I think just the first half our morning does good enough for a perspective shift. We often say kids are difficult, grumpy, unreasonable, and temperamental. Well…Pot, meet Kettle. Maybe, with a perspective shift, we can see that kids are often surrounded by adults that are difficult, grumpy, unreasonable, and temperamental. Maybe we’re the ones being demanding and pushy. Maybe, just maybe, they’re struggling with being surround by rushing, joyless adults.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I am guilty of being the buzzkill adult, too, this is not a shaming article, more of a suggested perspective shift. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. It could be a recipe for the world’s best chocolate cake if I ever remember to ask my Mother-in-Law permission to share it or junk-less birthday party favor ideas. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
