I’m going to be deactivating my Facebook account in less than a month. I’m only waiting for the next swap I’m hosting to pass so the event doesn’t get deleted. I already don’t have Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok, or Instagram. Full transparency – I’m keeping Pinterest.
Facebook is the last standing social media I have, mainly because I have run a mothers group, Pahrump Mother’s Corner, on it for the past few years. If it weren’t for that group, I would have left Facebook months ago. Instead, I have struggled with this decision for the better part of a year. On one hand, I love fostering community and helping others. I love the easy access to meal trains, hosting free events, providing free resources and support to other moms, and giving back whenever I can. And marketplace. Man oh man, do I love marketplace. On the other hand, social media isn’t the right choice for me on a personal level. I don’t love how social media impacts my mood, desires, outlook, or relationships.
My inner turmoil on this decision is this: how do I spread my time, attention, and love between social media and my family? I don’t. How do I find balance between holding boundaries for a large group and not alienating those breaking the boundaries? I can’t. How will I reconcile putting my heart fully into loving other people and their children and having it not reciprocated? I won’t….anymore.
I simply don’t, can’t, and won’t.
I’m opting-out of the snarky comments, hidden agendas, cliques, criticism, and passed around screen-shots. I’m leaving behind the influencers, advertisements, and planted thoughts. I’m skipping the comparison and false feelings of “never enough” to embrace being content with what we have. I’m putting down my phone and picking up my in-person life. I’ll be cultivating and caring for my circle – even if it means having a smaller, closer-knit one. I love my people hard, with my whole heart, and I simply cannot do that within a huge group or with my attention spread so thin.
I’ll still set up community swaps, volunteer for community events, and bring new moms I know a meal. I’ll still run and restock little free libraries throughout town. I’ll still give generously every chance I get. It just won’t be posted publicly for private judgement anymore.
We each get to choose our priorities everyday. I’m choosing my family. I’m choosing my kids. I’m choosing our lives, wholly and unapologetically. I hope you’re prioritizing what you value in life, too.
P.S. If you’re a book nerd & also find yourself pulled to leave social media, I found these books helpful: How to Break up with Your Phone, The Opt-Out Family, The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains, Stolen Focus, and The Chaos Machine. If you’re not a bibliophile (no judgment!), consider checking out any of these documentaries: The Social Dilemma, Childhood 2.0, Screened Out, Plugged In, or Disconnected.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: The #1 one concern I’ve gotten from friends and family while I’ve laboriously debated this decision is what I’ll do without marketplace. I’m known for frequently finding good deals on there – too frequently, truthfully. I’ve come to realize there’s nothing I need, I’m literally browsing to find something I want instead of appreciating what I have. I may as well be browsing a mall, which isn’t how I want to spend my life. Additionally, I want to be clear that I’m not judging any moms that use and love social media – I think it’s amazing how some people can balance it with real life – I just simply am not one of those people. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. It could be on a serious topic like identity theft or something light like a comparison of grape varieties. Most importantly, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
