We’ve all heard that classic, catchy saying: it takes a village to raise a child. It’s uttered from grandparents’ lips, plastered on post captions, and frequently found in parenting books. A village is regularly recommended as a cure-all in today’s world, but where do you find one?
Motherhood is not for the weak; it is prioritizing others’ needs over your own, managing a household, and sacrificing free time and mental capacity for the good of the family. For many, add in joining the workforce, and juggling it all can seem impossible. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, seventy percent of mothers with children under 18 participate in the labor force, with over 75 percent being employed full-time. Another study done by Welch found that mothers worked fourteen hour “shifts” compared to the average eight hour workday – resulting in a 98 hour work week! With that kind of schedule, it’s a wonder anyone has the time to find a village at all.
Luckily, your village doesn’t need to be large, in-person, or even fully connected to have a positive impact. Your village can be a mish-mash of what’s available; it’s not likely to be the large group of people that meet regularly (or is that just in my own personal daydreams?). My village is random since we don’t have biological family here in town. It’s comprised of a parenting facebook group and a few good friends for the most part. It has guest appearances from a friendly stranger in the grocery store line, neighbors that are kind enough to wave to my kids, and the cashier at Albertson’s that compliments my toddler on her hair or wacky outfit every time we checkout.
A village is what you make it and you only find the support you look for. Join and participate in an online moms group, wave to your neighbors, make small talk with the mom standing next to you at the swings. It’s there. Go join it.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: I’ve felt like there wasn’t a village for me before. I’ve put time, love, and effort into friendships that wasn’t reciprocated, lost friends I cared about, and grieved with loneliness before. This column will be about motherhood, parenting, and homemaking for the most part. Sometimes it’ll have tips to tame the clutter or tackle the laundry monster growing on your exercise bike, other times it might be an easy way to meal plan or ramblings on self-care as a busy mama. Maybe a quick recipe or a book review if I come across something worth sharing.No matter what the weekly topic is, I don’t ever want this column to make another mama think she’s not doing enough. If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are, you’re doing great, keep it up. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
About Mackayla
Mackayla Turley is a married stay-at-home mom of three young kids in Pahrump, Nevada. She enjoys drinking coffee, reading, baking, and exercise as well as running a local moms group, Pahrump Mother’s Corner. Her friends describe her as a cheerleader, a giver, a minimalist, and an extrovert. She can be reached at pahrumpmotherscorner@runbox.com.
2 Comments
This is a well written article that garnered my immediate attention. Motherhood is a magnanimous undertaken and it is affirming to hear from this “cheerleader”. I am excited to digest the next article that will be published. Thank you for sharing.
What an extremely well written and thoughtful article. I look forward to the columns to come.