Mother’s Day is coming up. It’s a tricky holiday; a holiday where the usual magic-maker wants the magic made for her. In our household, I handle most traditions, gifts, surprises, and holidays. Birthdays, Half-Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, St. Patricks, Easter, Fourth of July, the list goes on and on; the mama magic does it all. But Mother’s Day? Does the mama magic have to work for herself, too?
Our household had consistently rough Mother’s Days before I decided to explain the expectation. I would secretly hope for cute candid pictures of me and the kids, huge hugs, grateful kiddo thank-you’s, a nap, chocolates, whatever was on my mind at the time. My family, not being the mind-readers I so desperately wished they were, would do the opposite. They were always well-intentioned, but never on the mark. Multi-colored neon flowers, kids wrestling in the living room while I tried to sleep-in through the noise, a total absence of cute crafts. Last year went so poorly that I declared “never again!” and wrote out my expectations. I sent them to my husband and we redid Mother’s Day a week later.
It ruins the surprise factor, of course, but it’s better than ending up upset when nothing went as you secretly hoped. As a bonus, my husband really appreciates knowing exactly what I want. Explaining my expectations takes the pressure off him and lets me have a day where I feel really appreciated and celebrated – a win-win all around.
Here’s how explaining the expectation goes in our home: the week before Mother’s Day (or any gift-giving holiday – mama’s birthday, valentines, etc.), I will text my husband what I hope for – the more details the better. This year, I will probably just forward him the link to this article; hope you’re reading this, babe, pop-quiz tonight.
These are my hopes for this year: I would like to sleep-in. Not in an “I can hear the kids screaming in the other room” way, but in a “the kids are taken out of the house for an activity while I deeply sleep” way. When I wake-up around 9, I would like my family to come home with my favorite coffee (hot vanilla latte) and flowers (grocery store bouquet, one-color, preferably springy). I would love for the kiddos to fill out a funny, cheesy “my-mom is..” printable like we do for Father’s Day. I want to spend the day puttering around the house and garden being productive, with an afternoon break to grab a Diet Coke and go thrifting solo. For dinner, I’d like to grill with salad on the side – no cooking for mama! For my main gift, I want family pictures done with our favorite photographer, Tree Sims Photography (Mother’s Day minis will be May 17th & 18th this year), with no complaints about the outfits I pick, and a positive attitude about smiling. She is a great photographer, and makes our sessions enjoyable and quick, an absolute must with three little kids.
Your hopes may look entirely different than mine: an afternoon nap instead of sleeping in, going out for dinner instead of grilling, a massage, a hand-bag, an espresso maker, whatever it may be, I suggest letting your family know what you’d appreciate. It sounds cold being written out, but it doesn’t have to be. Simply saying “Hey, Honey, for Mother’s Day this year I’d love…” isn’t a crime. Letting someone know what you’re hoping for can be helpful. Moms have a magic of their own making others feel loved and deserve to feel loved, too.
Disclaimer/Reality Check: This article read with the wrong tone puts my hubby in a bad light. I am the magic-maker for our family, my husband is the source of stability. I can’t tell you how many miles our vehicles have, when their next oil-change or tire rotation is, or the last time their wind-shield wipers were replaced; he can. He’s the one who can work out anything from tech internet issues to irrigation schedules, I’m the one who remembers half-birthdays and who likes what flavor of cake. I appreciate everything he does for our family more than I could ever explain. No-one is doing it all applies to everyone, and I couldn’t do everything I do without his support. Sing it with me: no-one is doing it allllll!
About Mackayla
Mackayla Turley is a married stay-at-home mom of three young kids in Pahrump, Nevada. She enjoys drinking coffee, reading, baking, and exercise as well as running a local moms group, Pahrump Mother’s Corner. Her friends describe her as a cheerleader, a giver, a minimalist, and an extrovert. She can be reached at pahrumpmotherscorner@runbox.com.
